Today I spent three hours of a perfectly good Saturday at work. This after spending an hour and half grading papers yesterday. And I still have about three more hours of grading to do this weekend. This after being told that I am the cause of all of one of my students problems.
And it makes me wonder why I thought teaching would be a good idea. You don't leave them or their work behind at the end of the day. You want them to do their best, BE their best. You want them to be successful and happy. You want to help them achieve success and happiness. You worry and plan and think and ponder until June. And before June even comes around you are already thinking about how next year can be even better. How you can tweak this and change that to be an even better teacher. And sometimes you smack right into a brick wall and wonder what you were thinking.
There are other jobs that are easier. Pay better. That you can leave at the end of the day. And on days like this, they look really appealing.
But, when you see that student that struggles turn the corner and start to understand. You know why you work many more hours than you are paid for. Why you sacrifice your hobbies to grade papers. Why I do what I do. Why I put up with standardized testing that sucks the creativity out of everything.
But today, all I see is the wall. And I am frustrated. I am frustrated at the red tape, the people in charge that haven't seen the inside of a classroom in years, the parents that are out of touch with reality and the fact that I can never seem to get caught up.
Today, I don't know how I will do this for years and years to come. But one day in the near future, a light bulb will come on and I will have helped flip the switch and then I will see why I do this. And it will all be better again.
6 comments:
i think parents would be the hardest to deal with because some of them are so blindly--and wrongly--supportive of their children. they seem to think that defending them no matter what is somehow good parenting.
we had an incident here a few weeks ago where some students were drinking and partying and posted photos of the party on facebook.
someone called this to the attention of the principal, who looked at the photos, called in the students one by one, interviewed them, and ended up suspending four of them from school activities (such as sports) for drinking.
the students were furious! even though the pictures were on the frickin' internet, they claimed "invasion of privacy."
and the parents? just guess. they said they were going to sue the school.
you have a hard, hard, hard job, and one of the most important jobs there is. i know why you get discouraged, but i hope you don't stay discouraged.
My mother is a teacher. I watched her go through year after year struggling with the same challenges you wrote about today.
What I remember more, though, is how each class became "hers" and how delighted she would be watcher "her" fifth graders work their way through school and walk across the stage on graduation day.
Because she and my father still live very near that small town where she taught, she still see people she taught in fifth grade. She'll call me occasionally and say, "Do you remember . . ." and have a story about what a great person they grew into.
I know it's hard. I know that I could never do it. I hope you find yourself feeling that it's worth it soon. Until then, just remember that there are students you've taught who will grow into wonderful people. And you had a hand in that.
Please remember that there are also parents like me, who get it, and are eternally grateful you decided to become a teacher.
Wow! Couldn't have said it better myself. I miss the kids and TEACHING, but I don't miss all the red tape and administration and parents who just don't get it.
i am a firm believer that you have control of your own actions...how well you get along with others and how well you do in school all has to do with how you handle it. my kids know that they are the FIRST person i look at when they tell me 'my teacher hates me'.
trust me, even when you don't feel it, there WILL be at least one child who you've helped. i think teachers are under appreciated. when my son was in hs, he had a teacher tell his class that he didn't care if they did the work or not. it's sad when it gets to the point where they don't care anymore, and the kids just give up, too. of course, vegas has a high dropout rate...glad my girls are going to school here in cali
hey, ped---there's an award for you at my place.
I have all the respect in the world for what you do. I absolutely could not do it. Not for a minute.
It's got to be so discouraging when you get blamed for things that are nowhere near your fault. But I hope the kids themselves balance that out.
Thank goodness for people like you.
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