Conversations?

When Ducky and I signed up for parenting there were many conversations that we never anticipated. Many phrases we never thought we would utter. Many experiences that never crossed our minds.

And then the children came. And life changed in the expected ways and in so many more unexpected ways.

Today I had a conversation with my children. About a topic that I had assumed unnecessary.

The topic? Who pee-peed in the closet.

For the last few days, Ducky and I have noticed it smelled a bit like urine near the boys closet. Worse when you opened the door. But being the busy people we are, we kind of put off investigating. And it was just a faint smell. Until last night. It was overpowering. But it was bedtime and with sweetE having a fever we just wanted them to get some rest.

So today, on my day off, I investigated. I took the closet doors off. I moved the drawer system we had in there. I slid the clothes off to the side and I put my nose down to investigate the problem. Was it in the closet or just outside? Was it something that had been thrown in the back of the closet or did someone actually pee-pee in the closet.

Let me first say that my nose is a touch congested. And my nose touched down and the carpet was damp. And my nose touched it. Ewwww! Curse under breath. Ugh. I head off to get my phone to share my indignation with my Ducky. Indignation does love company. And get some paper towels to see how bad the problem is.

We discuss who it could have been. We discuss the possibility of sleep walking. We are shocked that our boys would do this. Our good boys. Our cute boys. Our genes.

Once off the phone, I bring the sweetE up to the bedroom and point to the paper towels on the floor.

me: Do you know why those are there?
sweetE: No.
me: Somebody went pee-pee in the closet. Did you pee-pee in the closet?
sweetE: No.
me: Did you pee-pee in there last night?
sweetE: No.
me: Did you pee-pee in there this morning?
sweetE: No.
me: Where does pee-pee go?
sweetE: In the toilet.
me: Did you pee-pee in the closet?
sweetE: NO.
me: Do you know who did?
sweetE: No.

All right then. Back on the phone with Ducky. "He says he didn't do it. I don't think he did. Do you think sweetP would do it? No, me too. We know it wasn't you, me or Velcro." (It would be hard for Velcro to pee in that spot. And he rarely goes in the boys room.)

I then realize that sweetP's pajamas are right next to the spot and that sweetE's overalls are right there too. The overall's are damp on the legs. Dang, another load of laundry.

Fast forward to after school.

On the walk home, I let sweetP know that we need to have a chat. I don't tell him about what. Once we get home, I have him come upstairs with me. Into the bedroom, over by the closet.

me: Why do you think there are paper towels on the floor?
sweetP: Because there is pee-pee.
me: Why is there pee-pee?
sweetP: Somebody peed there.
me: Did you pee there?
sweetP: (long pause) No.
me: (At this point I know that he is lying. He is my clone, I can read him like a picture book.) Then who peed there?
sweetP: (long pause then funny sound effect) something, something take back
me: What?
sweetP: I want to take it back?
me: Take what back? Did you pee in the closet?
sweetP: (very quietly) Yes.
me: Why did you pee in the closet?
sweetP: My pants were stuck and I had to go really bad.
me: How many times have a peed in the closet?
sweetP: (pause) Once.
me: Once? or more than that?
sweetP: Two times.
Etcetera, etcetera.

Mystery solved. Expectations shared. Consequence handed out.

And my proudest moment. After our talk he said "Do you know why I wanted to take it back?" To which I replied, "No." He told me that he wanted to take it back because he didn't want to lie. And I of course, gave him a great big hug and told him that I was proud of him for being honest. And I knew I was doing okay as a parent because he wasn't afraid to tell me the truth. Even though there would be consequences.

Tonight, Ducky took sweetE on an adventure. I made sweetP help me clean the carpet. Tomorrow, he has to help me take the sheets off the guest bed, wash them and put them back on. They are sleeping in there tonight so the carpet can dry.

Pee-pee in the closet, another one of the joys of parenting.