I am frustrated and annoyed and generally pissed off. I have been waging a battle with my body for almost three decades and I can't seem to win.
It is those damn migraines. I have been in less than top form for the last two days. I am tired of missing time with the boys. I am tired of not getting to enjoy their activities. I am tired of missing out on living.
Thursday was a good day at work, but it was crazy in that way that days near the end of school are. We had Art Lit and I got to be the model. I was covered in all forms of scarves, boas and hats by at least six girls. They had fun and I thought it was pretty fun too. After school there was the usual assortment of activities to get done before escaping home to get ready to watch sweetP's music performance.
He had a special part and we were making sure we remembered the camera this year. He did a great job and we have the video to prove it this year. Yeah, sweetP! I felt okay up to then. But between the lights and sounds, my senses became overloaded and compounded by the inadequate quantity and quality of my sleep lately, my brain started a bit of an electrical storm.
I went to bed dreading the possibilities, but hoping that two Advil and good nights sleep would leave me good as new. I had a big day planned the next day. On Friday's to-do list: watch neighbors children for an hour, go to sweetP's school for his reading restaurant, drop car off to get tires rotated, go to bank, go to pharmacy, play with boys, have fun. What ended up getting done: watch neighbors children, go to sweetP's event. Then proceed to lay around like a lump for most of the rest of the day.
My boys have learned to be fairly accommodating when I have a headache. SweetE and I watched TV together for awhile. After we picked up sweetP, he played computer games and sweetE played Wii and I took a nap. I also talked (conned) Ducky into picking up the prescriptions for me.
So I went to bed early last night with the aid of a sleeping pill and hopes to be all better in the morning. Nope, I woke up at five and promptly got pissed off. Ducky said I got out of bed in a huff. Of course, when I woke up I realized I still had a headache. And day two is always worse than day one. And they never last just one day.
At about three this afternoon, it subsided. About four hours ahead of schedule. But I am getting tired of missing out and giving things up.
So far in my life I have done these things to attempt to control them.
• Take a daily drug during my growing years that has been shown to stunt the growth of children. That and throwing up and not eating 2-3 days a week will definitely stunt your growth. I miss whatever inches I didn't get. I am constantly dropping things on my head trying to get them down from a high shelf.
• Take a wide variety of pain killers, some of which make me itch.
• Tried a variety of preventative medicines that turn me into a zombie or give me a perma-headache.
• Gave up caffeine, nectar of the gods, go-juice. I miss getting that burst of energy to get me going.
• Gave up citrus. My summers are now incomplete without lemonade. I miss grapefruit juice and mandarin oranges and all things that have citrus yumminess.
• Gave up red wine. Never cared for white and while I never drank much, I miss the option.
• I take melatonin and MigRelief every night. This combination is at least helping. The migraines no longer incapacitate me, they just make me not want to do anything. I can still function, I just don't get to enjoy anything.
After all this, doesn't it seem fair that they leave me alone. I think once school is out it may be time to head to the headache specialist. My doctor is back from maternity leave and so we'll see.
The unintended consequence of all this. When sweetP doesn't want to do something, he says he has a headache. He sees headaches keeping me from doing things and so he will try it when he doesn't want to do something. So frustrating, even as I fear that I will pass this genetic trait on to him. I know that 80% of migraine sufferers are women, but my grandfather and one male cousin both had/have them. It is not out of the realm of possibility.
28 years of fighting and not one step closer to winning. And two very stressful weeks on the horizon.
5 comments:
i so, so, so feel for you. my mother used to get migraines twice a month--when she was ovulating, and when she was menstruating.
i got them for about 10 years when i was in my late teens and early 20s.
several of my brothers get them, too.
i still get serious headaches that put me out for a day, but they are not migraines. no vomiting, lights, etc.
we all found various ways to cope, but nobody has found a cure. mine ended when i went off the Pill. but i had one last week, first time in a long time, and i have no idea why. (does this mean that menopause is looming, and it'll be headachey? i have no idea.)
i used to take caffergot--if i took it at the very first onset of the migraine, it would usually head it off. trouble is, i couldn't always tell if i was getting a migraine, or a regular headache, so i didn't always take it in time.
a friend of mine read about my more recent migraine and sent me her list of preferred drugs. i'll dig it out of email and send it to you. you probably already know all the possible drugs, but who knows, maybe something will click.
other triggers for me: bad pillows (neck aches lead to headaches); lack of oxygen (sleeping with blankets over head); not eating on a regular schedule. and, like you, red wine is not possible.
i hate being so sensitive and careful, but it's the only way.
here's my friend's email. maybe there's a medication there you haven't yet tried:
Nasty little buggers, aren't they? I hope you have good drugs. Just in case you don''t , I recommend:
Maxalt
Imitrex or
Zomig
PLUS
Butalbitol
Advil
cool washcloth on forehead!
I am so sorry. My mom used to get them and so did Hubby. He still gets really nasty headaches that might take him a few days to get over. The only thing that worked for him was a shot in the fanny of some really good narcotics and time to sleep it off. He said the Imitrex only made it worse.
I know what you mean about little kids picking things up. If Dad doesn't feel good, it's his head, if Mom doesn't feel good it's her stomach somewhere.
I feel so sorry for you in reading this post. I've always been a terrible headache sufferer (more in frequency than severity for me), but luckily I've only had 3 or 4 migraines in my life. Although I used to have a headache 5 days out of every week typically, with at least one or two of those days with the headaches being very painful. For many years I usually had a headache of some degree on any given day.
I use the past tense because my headaches have seriously diminished since I began seeing a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine who has treated me for the last six years with acupuncture, deep tissue massage and homeopathic medicine. Nothing I have ever done for myself has been as beneficial as seeing him. I couldn't recommend it more highly.
I've been meaning to write a post about this, but I don't want to get too much into "medical" stuff that I have no expertise in, but my TCM believes I have heavy metal toxicities that contribute to my food allergies and chemical sensitivities that cause the headaches. Apparently lead and mercury overloads can cause your pituitary and thyroid glands to malfunction, which in turn, messes up your hormones and causes headaches. Right now I am on a heavy metal detox, which hopefully will leave me feeling better once and for all. Fingers crossed.
Sorry for hijacking your comments, but I’m so sympathetic when it comes to headaches. I really feel for you. Headaches steal your life away and can be incredibly frustrating. Hang in there, and I hope some of my ramble was useful to you in some way.
ps (as if my comment wasn't long enough) - I know this may be stupid to say, but I'll say it anyway... instead of finding great drugs to mask the pain, I'm sure you know it's important to figure out the root cause of the migraines and work on that. I think this is where a Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) would be helpful. Hope you find an answer. Keep us posted.
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