I am frustrated and annoyed and generally pissed off. I have been waging a battle with my body for almost three decades and I can't seem to win.
It is those damn migraines. I have been in less than top form for the last two days. I am tired of missing time with the boys. I am tired of not getting to enjoy their activities. I am tired of missing out on living.
Thursday was a good day at work, but it was crazy in that way that days near the end of school are. We had Art Lit and I got to be the model. I was covered in all forms of scarves, boas and hats by at least six girls. They had fun and I thought it was pretty fun too. After school there was the usual assortment of activities to get done before escaping home to get ready to watch sweetP's music performance.
He had a special part and we were making sure we remembered the camera this year. He did a great job and we have the video to prove it this year. Yeah, sweetP! I felt okay up to then. But between the lights and sounds, my senses became overloaded and compounded by the inadequate quantity and quality of my sleep lately, my brain started a bit of an electrical storm.
I went to bed dreading the possibilities, but hoping that two Advil and good nights sleep would leave me good as new. I had a big day planned the next day. On Friday's to-do list: watch neighbors children for an hour, go to sweetP's school for his reading restaurant, drop car off to get tires rotated, go to bank, go to pharmacy, play with boys, have fun. What ended up getting done: watch neighbors children, go to sweetP's event. Then proceed to lay around like a lump for most of the rest of the day.
My boys have learned to be fairly accommodating when I have a headache. SweetE and I watched TV together for awhile. After we picked up sweetP, he played computer games and sweetE played Wii and I took a nap. I also talked (conned) Ducky into picking up the prescriptions for me.
So I went to bed early last night with the aid of a sleeping pill and hopes to be all better in the morning. Nope, I woke up at five and promptly got pissed off. Ducky said I got out of bed in a huff. Of course, when I woke up I realized I still had a headache. And day two is always worse than day one. And they never last just one day.
At about three this afternoon, it subsided. About four hours ahead of schedule. But I am getting tired of missing out and giving things up.
So far in my life I have done these things to attempt to control them.
• Take a daily drug during my growing years that has been shown to stunt the growth of children. That and throwing up and not eating 2-3 days a week will definitely stunt your growth. I miss whatever inches I didn't get. I am constantly dropping things on my head trying to get them down from a high shelf.
• Take a wide variety of pain killers, some of which make me itch.
• Tried a variety of preventative medicines that turn me into a zombie or give me a perma-headache.
• Gave up caffeine, nectar of the gods, go-juice. I miss getting that burst of energy to get me going.
• Gave up citrus. My summers are now incomplete without lemonade. I miss grapefruit juice and mandarin oranges and all things that have citrus yumminess.
• Gave up red wine. Never cared for white and while I never drank much, I miss the option.
• I take melatonin and MigRelief every night. This combination is at least helping. The migraines no longer incapacitate me, they just make me not want to do anything. I can still function, I just don't get to enjoy anything.
After all this, doesn't it seem fair that they leave me alone. I think once school is out it may be time to head to the headache specialist. My doctor is back from maternity leave and so we'll see.
The unintended consequence of all this. When sweetP doesn't want to do something, he says he has a headache. He sees headaches keeping me from doing things and so he will try it when he doesn't want to do something. So frustrating, even as I fear that I will pass this genetic trait on to him. I know that 80% of migraine sufferers are women, but my grandfather and one male cousin both had/have them. It is not out of the realm of possibility.
28 years of fighting and not one step closer to winning. And two very stressful weeks on the horizon.