Just a few short weeks ago, my little sweetE was happily heading to preschool twice a week. And I thought to myself, "Ah, finally he is happy and this is easy and that is fabulous!" And I cursed myself. Just like when I realize I haven't had a headache in while, BAM it hits.
The last three preschool drop-offs have been heart wrenching, rip your heart out affairs. Suddenly, "I don't like preschool. It's not fun." Instead of, "It's my preschool day, yeah!!!" I miss the happy, bubbly boy that bounced into school, was too absorbed in starting his project to notice I was leaving.
Now I am looking into big, big, blue eyes, swimming in tears. The crocodile tears pausing on his cute little cheeks before streaming down to his chin. His lower lip protruding out and trembling. "Mommy stay, I don't like preschool." Sticking to me like two fingers joined by super glue. Peeling him off of me and handing him to his preschool teacher with a "Have fun sweetE, I love you." And feeling like a complete schmuck for leaving my baby in his time of need. But I do it all the same.
The cause for the change of heart. One boy. One boy in his class is making him sad, and therefore making me sad and kind of mad. The first story I got was that said boy untied sweetE's shoelaces on his Spiderman shoes. So I gave him a pep talk that if someone isn't playing nice you don't have to play with them. But he is a sweet and sensitive boy and he only perked up a little. When asked over and over again what he doesn't like about preschool, only this boy comes up. When asked what makes him sad at preschool, only this boy comes up.
So today, being the responsible parent that I am I chatted with his teacher. Apparently, this boy is not nice to anyone. But she has been making an effort to keep him away from sweetE. So we stepped out the door, the three of us, and she asked sweetE to please come and say that said boy is bothering him as soon as he does anything.
Today, I got home from work and checked in with him. "How was preschool?"
"Good."
"Did said boy do anything today?"
"Yes, he hit me on the head with a Lego."
"I'm sorry, sweetE, did you tell your teacher?"
"Yes."
"Good job, I'm sorry that he wasn't nice to you."
One should not want to smack a four year old. But I do. How can someone so young be such a brat. At least I know said boy won't be in sweetE's class next school year. But we still have a month to get through of this school year. In the meantime, Thursday will be here before I know it and I don't want to peel myself away from a sad, sad boy.
10 comments:
oh, god, what a jerk!!!! this story makes me angry. i know i should be sympathetic to the other boy, and wonder what in his homelife makes him behave this way, etc etc... but my thoughts are all with SweetE and you.
i have no solutions for you, Ped. just sympathy and a ball-up-my-fists anger.
Bullies are unhappy little children, neglected or indulged or mistreated. Most little children aren't mean by nature.
I know that doesn't make it easier for your little darling or for you. The only solution I ever found to bullying at that tender age included involving the teacher and supporting my little one, which you are already doing so well. It's hard, and he is learning a difficult lesson younger than anyone would like. It sounds like he's handling it exceedingly well for such a little guy. Hang in there.
Isn't this so frustrating? I have been dealing with Buttercup on the same issue. She's 9 and you would think she would be able to walk away from this girl. I keep telling her to tell the teacher, but she won't. Erg!
kaycie- indulged. He is definitely indulged, based on everything I have seen.
Poor E! I thought I was having a hard time with my little guy's sudden mysterious attachment. Now I think it would be harder to know the cause and know you can't control it. Good thing E has you to help.
JenLin
Oh Dear. Poor little sweetE. I can SO relate. Csilla's also a sensitive little doll. Recently she didn't want to go to preschool anymore either. When we finally got to the bottom of the problem, it turned out that a boy had thrown sand on her head at the playground. When I explained that she could just stay away from the boy, the sandbox or both, she was delighted and has been having fun again ever since.
It's interesting how their sweet little minds don't quite figure out the solutions to their problems yet...
Have a wonderful day. c
ps - thanks for your lovely comments... especially about the making babies stuff.
There have been several kids that age that I've wanted to smack. And as much as I want to say it goes away - it doesn't. Bullies are in every grade and school.
It's just that as the kids get older they deal with it a little easier.Your poor little guy. And you, too.
Oh, man. That really stinks. My first inclination is to shout, "What is WRONG with that kid ... and his parents for that matter?!" But the reality is that MY SON is probably THAT BOY every now and then. Hopefully not on a regular basis though!
I hope he lays off your cute son. Sounds like you are all handling the situation well.
Oh, it is all so familiar. My daughter cried every day for two years of preschool and all through kindergarten as well. It is so hard as the mom to leave then when they are like that. Preschool I figured it was just the age, I really liked her teachers and knew things at school were ok, besides she was in class with her brother all three of these years. Kindergarten, well, that was a different story...the teacher was not nice and it was so hard to leave her everyday knowing that there wasn't a terribly caring adult around.
Funny thing about those preschool kids who aren't very nice (not the once in a while not so nice kids, but the always difficult ones) they are the ones I am still hearing stories about! Just today my neighbor called and said that someone at school had started a very unkind rumor about her daughter and I knew immediately who it was. We haven't been in school with that child since 1997, but still, I knew.
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