The Worst/Funniest Gift Ever

One Christmas many years ago, when Ducky and I were still in the early years of our marriage, we went home for the holidays. We would spend Christmas eve with his family and Christmas day with mine. It just worked out that our families traditions were on separate days. We had spent a pleasant evening the night before with all of his family. Dinner, gifts, mass, laughing, merriment. The usual Christmas stuff.

Christmas morning we headed over to my parents house. They were waiting and then it was gift time again. My family is much more stoic, so there was significantly less merriment, but it was pleasant enough. We always open gifts one at a time and watch the recipient and drag the whole thing out. I personally like it that way. So it was Ducky's turn to open a gift and he carefully removed the paper (a requirement so my mom can reuse it). It was an illustrated dog book that we always looked at when visiting. We didn't live where we could have a dog yet, so we were planning what kind to get eventually. Great, we could research more often! Ducky graciously thanked her and the gifting moved on to the next person.

Ducky happened to look over at the bookshelf and there on the shelf was the exact same book, brand new, in the wrapper. She had given him the old one and bought herself a new one. But wait, there is more.


When Ducky's turn came around again, he opened the next gift. Ducky is really good at guessing gifts by shaking them. So we often disguise them so he can't figure them out. It was a Rice Krispies box. An opened Rice Krispies box. Therefore, it must be a disguised gift. He started digging around in the half empty box of cereal. At this point my mom pipes up that she hopes he likes Rice Krispies, because they couldn't eat them. The half eaten box of cereal was the gift. My mother wrapped up and gave a half eaten box of cereal as a real gift. Not a gag gift, or even a white elephant gift. A real, serious gift. Wrapped in paper with a bow and everything.

Now, it is not that my parents couldn't afford to buy gifts. They were doing quite well.

Years later, this gift finally paid off. A discussion of bad gifts came up at Ducky's work. Everyone sharing what their worst gift ever was. Ducky of course, shared his half eaten cereal gift and the continuing list of strange gifts he has received from my mother. He won, hands down. Then every year after that, to this day, there are people that ask what he got. The gifts he has received from my mother have become legendary.