Lost and found boxes are very interesting things. You never know what you will find in them. People lose some crazy things. There are things that you question how someone managed to lose that. A single shoe on the side of the road, I have never figured that out. Keys, how did they ever get home without them and get in their house once they got there.
I lose my mind on a regular basis, it always comes back. Don't know what I would do if it didn't. I have never managed to lose my children. But I have managed to lose me. Somewhere along the line, me disappeared. I know it is buried deep within the self I am now. But I miss it. I didn't even realize for the longest time that the person I believed I was, was gone. But in recent weeks, I have become aware of what I am missing. And I wonder how I could not have noticed. How I could have let myself change so significantly.
So I am searching for me. I want the bubble and bounce back. The girl that broke a bed by jumping up on it and then sat there grinning because it was just too darn funny. I want the girl with the ready laugh and smile. The one that would crack jokes and relax and have fun. The one that didn't snap with impatience regularly. I was really fun. Now, really nice people in my life now will tell me that I am still fun. But I know that there is a difference. The lost me would go out often without persuasion or permission. The me I am searching for was up for the occasional wacky stunt. Me had spunk.
So if you happen to find my lost me, send her back this way. In the meantime I will be checking lost and found boxes wherever they may be.
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4 comments:
I think I know what you mean. Sometimes I miss the old me, too. I probably never knew the "old you" since I've only known you a few years. Sounds like we'd have a real good time... old you and old me. :) Or old you and new me. Or new you and old me. Whichever. but I like you just the way you are.
The boys and I will help you look, just say the word. -Ducky.
That girl's still in there; she's just exhausted. It's hard to keep her on the surface when kids are young and you are working. I am here to tell you, she'll be back with a vengeance.
In the meantime, take care of yourself.
This is my first time here, and I haven't read enough posts to know the old or new you, but am wondering if you lost the old you because of the migraines...or are getting the migraines because you lost the old you?
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