Thursday, January 1, 2009

Here it Comes

Last night we rang in the new year. I am not quite ready. It seems to be the theme of my life.

When the boys play games, sweetE is often heard saying "Wait, I am getting ready!" or "Don't get me, I am preparing!" Sometimes we wait for him, sometimes not. But life doesn't wait, doesn't let you prepare until you think you are ready. Life is more like a game of hide and seek, ready or not, here it comes. If I had extra hours in the day or an extra day in the week would I feel ready? I don't think so. I don't think I would ever feel on top of the many aspects in my life.

Time is a precious commodity. I need time to get things done, but that means I cannot spend that time with my family. I need time to myself, but I should be spending that time sleeping. I need to time to spend with the boys because they are growing up too fast. I need that hourglass that Hermione uses in Harry Potter. I want to be in two places at once. I want to go on an adventure with the boys while being home finishing a project I cannot do when they are around. I want some time to myself, but be getting enough sleep at the same time.

Alas, it is never going to happen. There will always be choices to be made. I may never feel ready for each day. I am a night owl because it is how I extend my day. I hope to put off the start of a new day by stretching this one as far as it can go. In the morning I am reluctant to get going because I don't feel ready. In the morning, my stretching of yesterday makes today more of a challenge.

So a new year has started. Time to put one foot in front of the other. Time to hope for the best and do the best I can. Time to not be too hard on myself when life doesn't go as planned. Time to relish each day, take time to play. Time to make my resolutions.

1. Keep last years resolution to finish stuff. All the projects didn't get done last year, and there are new ones on the horizon. Plus, when I finish one thing, success!

2. Drink water. I have been having headaches that go away with liquid consumption. I am due for my time bomb check (x-ray for kidney stones). Today I realized I had not drunk a single drop all day at 3 p.m. So I don't need to drink more water, I just need to drink some. Gotta start somewhere.

3. What am I thinking, two resolutions is enough. I don't need the added stress or pressure. I am hoping that 2009 is my year to control the migraine. So I will stick to two resolutions and keep the stress level low or at least lower.

Today has been stretched about as far as it should, I need to make up some sleep. Happy New Year!

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