The Battle

I am frustrated and annoyed and generally pissed off. I have been waging a battle with my body for almost three decades and I can't seem to win.

It is those damn migraines. I have been in less than top form for the last two days. I am tired of missing time with the boys. I am tired of not getting to enjoy their activities. I am tired of missing out on living.

Thursday was a good day at work, but it was crazy in that way that days near the end of school are. We had Art Lit and I got to be the model. I was covered in all forms of scarves, boas and hats by at least six girls. They had fun and I thought it was pretty fun too. After school there was the usual assortment of activities to get done before escaping home to get ready to watch sweetP's music performance.

He had a special part and we were making sure we remembered the camera this year. He did a great job and we have the video to prove it this year. Yeah, sweetP! I felt okay up to then. But between the lights and sounds, my senses became overloaded and compounded by the inadequate quantity and quality of my sleep lately, my brain started a bit of an electrical storm.

I went to bed dreading the possibilities, but hoping that two Advil and good nights sleep would leave me good as new. I had a big day planned the next day. On Friday's to-do list: watch neighbors children for an hour, go to sweetP's school for his reading restaurant, drop car off to get tires rotated, go to bank, go to pharmacy, play with boys, have fun. What ended up getting done: watch neighbors children, go to sweetP's event. Then proceed to lay around like a lump for most of the rest of the day.

My boys have learned to be fairly accommodating when I have a headache. SweetE and I watched TV together for awhile. After we picked up sweetP, he played computer games and sweetE played Wii and I took a nap. I also talked (conned) Ducky into picking up the prescriptions for me.

So I went to bed early last night with the aid of a sleeping pill and hopes to be all better in the morning. Nope, I woke up at five and promptly got pissed off. Ducky said I got out of bed in a huff. Of course, when I woke up I realized I still had a headache. And day two is always worse than day one. And they never last just one day.

At about three this afternoon, it subsided. About four hours ahead of schedule. But I am getting tired of missing out and giving things up.

So far in my life I have done these things to attempt to control them.
• Take a daily drug during my growing years that has been shown to stunt the growth of children. That and throwing up and not eating 2-3 days a week will definitely stunt your growth. I miss whatever inches I didn't get. I am constantly dropping things on my head trying to get them down from a high shelf.
• Take a wide variety of pain killers, some of which make me itch.
• Tried a variety of preventative medicines that turn me into a zombie or give me a perma-headache.
• Gave up caffeine, nectar of the gods, go-juice. I miss getting that burst of energy to get me going.
• Gave up citrus. My summers are now incomplete without lemonade. I miss grapefruit juice and mandarin oranges and all things that have citrus yumminess.
• Gave up red wine. Never cared for white and while I never drank much, I miss the option.
• I take melatonin and MigRelief every night. This combination is at least helping. The migraines no longer incapacitate me, they just make me not want to do anything. I can still function, I just don't get to enjoy anything.

After all this, doesn't it seem fair that they leave me alone. I think once school is out it may be time to head to the headache specialist. My doctor is back from maternity leave and so we'll see.

The unintended consequence of all this. When sweetP doesn't want to do something, he says he has a headache. He sees headaches keeping me from doing things and so he will try it when he doesn't want to do something. So frustrating, even as I fear that I will pass this genetic trait on to him. I know that 80% of migraine sufferers are women, but my grandfather and one male cousin both had/have them. It is not out of the realm of possibility.

28 years of fighting and not one step closer to winning. And two very stressful weeks on the horizon.

There's No Time!

I can think of the most eloquent, thought provoking, interesting things to blog about. When I am far, far from the computer. Sit me down in front of the darn thing and I can't come up with two sentences to string together.

Or, I am in front of the computer, but I am at work. I don't really want work to know I have the blog (in case I write about work) so I can't blog then. There just doesn't seem to be any time to blog lately.

I am going to blame it on end of school year craziness. 2 weeks + 2 days = freedom to slow down, think, relax, get stuff done that is not work related. In the meantime, I need my rest if I am going to survive the daily roller coaster.

Happy Belated Blogoversary to Me!

So the 21st was my blogoversary. And I missed it. I knew it was coming, and then life got in the way. We had sweetP's last soccer game. Headache central. Then I was busy documenting a day in first grade. More on that another day.

I am so proud of me for finishing a year of blogging. I have started journals in the past and they never made it past three weeks. So for me, a total non writer to write about this, that and the other thing for a year is something of a miracle.

Thirteen more work days until I am done for the year. After this year, I need the time recharge, reflect and get ready to do it all again next year. Except I will do it better.

We having been having too much fun on the Wii lately. We got the wii fit and it is so much fun. We are skiing, hula hooping, yogaing, stepping and so much more. I may have found some exercise I can stick with. And I am so close to popular opinion on wii vote that I almost fell off the couch. I have been spot on for every vote lately. I can be so competitive.



The boys are out building a bat house, so I am off to watch or help or something.

Big Words

I was standing in line at the grocery store yesterday. The courtesy clerk was talking about how people should use little words when talking to her. That her teachers use these big words and she just doesn't get it. The checker and I were just kind of snickering as she continued her declaration about how she just didn't know what they meant and when she tried to use them she got the context wrong.

At this point, I quietly told the checker that I was one of those horrible teachers. And that we are just doing our job. She laughed and the very nice courtesy clerk said "I heard that." She has convinced herself that she doesn't understand big words.

As I was putting my groceries in the trunk of my car, I realized that I should have told her to read all different kinds of books and her vocabulary would grow on its own. The words would be in context and would start making sense. I wished that I had thought of some way to encourage her. But at that moment I was in a rush to get home, make dinner and spend time with my boys.

As a kid, I devoured books. I think I read every book in the children's and young adult section of our library. I would check out the maximum every time and be ready for more before my mom was ready to go back. I acquired a great vocabulary. No SAT prep class needed.

I miss having the time to read books the way I did as a kid. I hope that my boys love reading the way that I did. It opens up worlds and doors. I hope that part of the time they are content to curl up with a book and immerse themselves in another place or time.

I See Summer Around the Bend

18 days and counting. Three Mondays (including tomorrow).

To quote a certain square, yellow sea creature. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."

This school year has worn me out, washed me up, wrung me out and hung me out to dry. And this weekend was just too summerish to not start the countdown.

It's a sprint to the finish and summer vacation is the prize.

Just Call Me Rudolph

Two days of fun in the sun and I have a distinct resemblance to a certain reindeer.

We blasted straight out of wintery spring right into the height of summer. Of course next week we will be back to cool and wet. But yesterday and today, we caught a glimpse of the future. Yesterday sweetP and I participated in a Relay for Life. We dutifully wore our sunscreen and sweated through two hours of 95 degree heat. We laughed and had a blast. I was the cool mom and he was the cool, fabulous, amazing kid.

We hung out with his best friend. They had to have been separated at birth they act so much alike. They communicate without words, they act alike, they talk alike. They are basically twins. It is hilarious to watch. It is one of those friendships that we all hope stands the test of time.

Today, we hung out at the fire house. SweetE and I sprayed the fire hose and knocked over a traffic cone. He sat in the firetruck and put on the headphones. We watched AirLife land. He dug a hole with a back hoe. SweetP grumbled the whole time because he just wanted it to go home and get ready for his birthday party. If he had his way, he would have spent the entire time watching a nesting bird. It was really cool, but I have no idea what it was. It had it's eggs under a bush. The area was blocked off with caution tape. He stood so quietly and still watching it.

With all of our outdoor adventures, my nose is a lovely shade of red. We forgot sunscreen today at the firehouse. And I forgot to put on any makeup.

At least the birthday party was indoors. The boys played and had a blast and we only had to sign a credit card slip. Tonight, before it was even 8 o'clock, sweetP asked if it was bedtime yet. It was a very busy day.

He Did It!

I scurried home from work so I could make it to the game. SweetP was ready to go. Shoes, on. Shin guards, on. Magic Eraser, in a baggy. He was ready to clean some graffiti.

So we head off to the game. We are a few minutes early. His team is already in practicing. We go down the hall. Sure, enough. There is a penis on that penguin. And a lovely word written below.

I am scrubbing the penguin, so I can make sure the paint doesn't come off. We get it down to a few unrecognizable black dots. All the the while, this is the exchange.

"Mommy, what does that say?"

I ignore the request, I don't want to explain the word and I am busy removing anatomical parts.

"b-it-ch, bitch. What does that mean?"

"Honey, I am really proud of you for sounding out the word, but please never say it again."

"Why?"

"It is not a nice word."

"Okay."

Have I mentioned that I love this kid. We cleaned off the word too. The hallway is now safe for first graders again.