Sunday, January 10, 2010

The Era of Change

So my long alluded to changes have begun to happen. Life will be looking a lot different as I grow accustomed to them.

So for quite a few years now, I have been growing more and more unhappy. And last summer it reached the point where it could no longer be ignored. All you have to do is watch the migraine pattern, and most of that was me on preventative medication. I shudder to think of their frequency without the preventative efforts.

I have a gift for ignoring things that I don't like. I bottle them up and shove them in a closet. Not even admitting them to myself. It is a great coping mechanism for the little things in life, but for those bigger problems, not so much.

Today, Ducky and I separated. I have been waiting months for this to happen. There is a sense of relief, as expected, as I slowly come to realize that I am no longer waiting. We told the boys and, for the moment at least, they could care less. They were laughing and joking the entire time we told them and then scampered off to play. That will most likely change as the weeks go by and it starts to sink in what this means.

Only time will tell what happens next, but I feel like the changes are just starting.

4 comments:

Ranell said...

On one hand I'm sorry and sad, of course this is a hard thing to go through; on the other hand, I'm optimistic for your sake and I hope for you that this is a move in the right direction and will help improve your physical and emotional health.

Ranell said...

I also meant to say: what can I do to help? Are you moving, or is Ducky? Can I help pack or help with the boys while you figure it out? Please let me help if I can!

LCM said...

I am so sorry. Just from your posts, I wondered if something like that was happening. I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. My thoughts are with you and your boys.

laurie said...

good luck to you! this will be a tough time but hopefully only temporarily. the boys will be fine--you both love them. this will all be for the best.