Confidence

I have gotten to enjoy some serious quality (and quantity) time with me in the last several months. And even more in the last few weeks. I have been able to draw a few conclusions and make a few plans. All of which have brought me to the realization that my confidence in every area of my life had reached an all time low. However, all of that has changed.

Tonight, as I enjoyed a solid case of insomnia, I hopped on the Wii Fit to attempt to get tired. Didn't work, so I am blogging. While stepping away, I was suddenly aware that most of the time I am liking what I see reflecting back at me. My physical confidence has surged in a way that I would have never anticipated. I have worked hard to get here and seeing results rocks. I am still very much a work in progress, but I can definitely tell that I will get where I want to be. And that feels amazing. After so many years of not liking what I was seeing, but not being motivated to do anything about it, I am wishing I had found motivation earlier. I have found the exercise habit, who'da thunk it.

So thinking about physical confidence branched off to other kinds of confidence. I am setting a new course of action professionally and that is inspiring a new professional confidence to go try some new things. It also meant that I got up in front of the entire staff and acted like my authentic dorky self. (It's true, I am a goof ball.) And while I may have caught some eye rolling, I don't care. I was also reminded that teachers are the worst group to present to. We so rarely get to talk to each other that when we are together we have a tendency to talk to each other and ignore the presenter. Of course, we hate it when our students act this way. But overall professionally, things are looking amazing.

Last weekend I had a turning point. I came to some startling realizations. I needed to find my happy. And my happy depends on me. I need to surround myself with people that enhance that happy. I have been in the most amazing mood since determined a plan to make that happen. Even though there have been several challenging events over the past few days, they haven't phased me. I have found my emotional confidence.

I am not going to let these confidences go. I have worked too hard to find them and I am a better person because of it. And I feel awesome, inside and out.