What does it say when it appears that your own parents have taken sides in your divorce? And the side they chose is not their child's? What does that say?!? They have not out and out said it, and frankly I don't want to ask, because right now I can't handle the answer.
My ex gets the email updates on what is going on in their life. I do not. He got a Christmas card from them. I did not. And we don't exchange gifts anymore, so I cannot expect one to arrive in a package. He was informed of my mother's surgery. I was not. He has received pictures of the boys from them. I have received nothing. When I do talk to them, no mention is made of how I am doing. If I say anything, the conversation ends, abruptly.
I find out what is going on in their lives from him. Even when I talked to my mother on the phone earlier that day! So, am I being paranoid, or does it seem like they chose him over me?
And frankly, with the frustrations of an unsuccessful job search, it is just a little more than I can take. I already have issues of not feeling like I am good enough, and they are fueling that fire like crazy. Let's see, failed as daughter. Check. Failed as wife. Check. Failing to find a full time job. Check. Feel like I am failing as a parent, since the boys are forever wanting to be at the other house. Check. (For the record, I try not to take that personally, but it is still salt in the wound.) It is really no wonder that I am feeling like a failure lately.
You would think that after all the years and ways that I have felt a failure, it wouldn't bother me so much anymore. But, I am forever the pleaser, so bother me it does.
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4 comments:
That bites. I think you are great person and I know the right job is there for you, just around the corner. Your parents don't seem to know what they're missing. Their loss, I suppose.
I don't have a sister and you can be mine if you want! I understand the whole absent parent...manipulative parent thing....so hop on over and we can not eat food together and laugh our guts out!
Bless your heart. I understand. I've spent a half a lifetime trying to please my parents. Nothing works. So I learned to do what makes me happy.
I think you should, too. I am delighted to know you, even from this distance. Hang in there.
O!M!G! I know we have talked about our parents before. I figured they would have things to say, but to take sides??!! UGH!
I have to say it took 31 years for me to be indifferent to my parents' opinions, but the last 4 years have been wonderful! I am so sorry for this additional stressor to everything else.
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