How do you reconcile when what you need and what you get are on opposite sides of the spectrum? How much can you adjust what you need to meet somewhere in the middle? Especially when dealing with someone else and their needs, which are opposite of yours. Needs are generally non-negotiable. If they were negotiable, they would be called wants.
I can see where I want to be, but I can't see how to get there. I know what I need, but not how to get it. I am stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place.
I have spent the greater part of today pondering what I am thankful for, isn't that what you were supposed to do today? And there are so many things that I am grateful for. But there is an underlying current of what is wrong that detracts from what is right.
So today I am glad that I have two boys in my life that have the ability to make me smile and laugh one minute and want to pull my hair out the next. I have a team that I work with that will help when I need it, offers a willing ear to listen to my troubles and be my friends. My class is fun to teach and they seem to enjoy having me teach them. I have a home that may not be my dream home, but gives me a safe place to come home to. Velcro, who may be getting on in years, but is the best dog around. And friends that are fun to spend time with and support me when I need it.
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As long as you're asking yourself these hard questions, here's a thought I'd like to add. We are not static creatures, some doomed and some blessed to remain in whatever state we open our eyes to. Rather, we can change, and it is a team effort. On our side the desire must be there, and tiny step by tiny step it may increase to whole-hearted commitment to be better each day. On the other side is the Lord who actually makes the changes in our hearts that we commit to. I believe this is how we get to where we want to be. I suppose the destination you start out for isn't always the place of happiness and contentment you finally reach. But again, for me, that's where faith in the Lord figures in.
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