My Little Shadow

My sweetE has been strongly bonded to me since day one. I would expect that as he gets older, that bond would weaken as he grows more independent. So far, that bond is made of super glue. If anything, it seems stronger than ever.

He grows especially fond of me when I have to work extra. Back to school and conference weeks are hard for him. He loves his "mommy time." We don't have to do anything special, just be together.

Last weekend, sweetP had a birthday party. Ducky and I thought that it would be nice if sweetE got to do something fun too. So Ducky planned to take him to see a movie while I dropped sweetP off at the party and then headed to my school to get some work done. Except sweetE wanted no part of that plan.

He wanted "to go with mommy!" No amount of convincing could change his mind. So he came with me. On the way to school I asked him why he wanted to come with me.

His response, "because, (pause) I love you." I just wanted to scoop him up and kiss him, freeze that moment and live it forever. I'll admit that I love that he is mommy's boy right down to his DNA. Who wouldn't like to be adored like that? I get to see his face light up when he sees me. I get to enjoy some of the best hugs around. I get to be the center of his universe. We may joke that he is Ducky's clone, but I win every time.

I'll take the sad face when I have to leave him at preschool, because it just shows how much I am loved by my littlest boy. If he could be my shadow, I know he would. How did I get so lucky?

Should Have Been

Today, I got the rare treat of seeing my aunt. They were doing a whirlwind trip out west to see relatives of all sorts. I have not seen her in years.

The more we talk, the more it seems that I should have been my aunt's daughter. We are so much alike. All of the ways that my mother and I are different (which is pretty much everything), she and I are alike. We talked about migraines and how we both suffer. We talked about remodeling, which we both enjoy. We talked about sorting through things, slowly and completely. We even look alike. We both avoid horses completely. The list goes on and on.

They arrived just as Ducky and sweetP were headed off to soccer. It was an unfortunate conflict, but it was sweetP's last soccer game and we didn't think he should skip it. My aunt and I had a wonderful chat while sweetE charmed my uncle. My usually shy boy, warmed up to them in about 4 seconds. After nearly an hour, we headed off to lunch with Ducky and sweetP set to meet us when they were done.

I felt bad that Ducky was missing so much of our time together, but grateful that I got this chance to visit. Our lunch came to an end and they had to head out to go visit my parents. I wished that we had more time to chat and not feel rushed. SweetE was really sad to see them go, he wanted them to stay. He wanted to know when we would see them again. So I may have to research a trip.

They are such wonderful people, I wish they lived closer.

Sick Days

There is a hazard to being a teacher. It is impossible to take a day off.

Sure, we get sick days. We accumulate lots of them. In order to use one, you have to work just as hard as showing up. So it is easier to just drag yourself through the day. I sometimes dream of a job where I could just call in sick and then flop back into bed.

Instead, teachers call in. Then we drag ourselves in and write lesson plans, in excruciating detail. We prepare the board with all the necessary info and copy the worksheets. We lay it all out in a neat pile on the desk. We write a note to the substitute thanking them for coming in. Then we return home. And ponder all the things we forgot to leave or write or think about. We hope that the students behave better than they do for us.

Monday, I was pondering coming in to work. We have a morning kindergarten teacher that will substitute in the afternoon. I pondered on Sunday while hanging out in urgent care. I pondered all Monday morning. I pondered as I walked in the building and saw her in her classroom. And decided to stick around and work anyway. The entire time dreaming of taking a nap.

I have reached the point that it takes an ER visit to keep me home. How sad is that? But I still love my job. The kids are aggravating and entertaining and fun. I love sharing my love of math and science. So, for the time being I will drag my sick self in and teach away.

Life Caught Me

One observation with corresponding migraine.
25 thirty minute conferences.
One PTA meeting.
Three regular days.

Means one tired me and the cold caught me. And my Sudafed prescription ran out and my sinuses are all up in arms. So I am off to do the smart thing. Go to bed with my latest book, read for a bit and let the Nyquil kick in and then get some sleep so I can wake up all better in the morning.

Time, or the Lack

It seems like the Earth is rotating faster lately. I wish I had more hours in the day, but instead it feels like less. I don't think I have that much more to do or that I am that much less efficient, but it feels like that must be the case. The To-Do list is growing at an alarming rate. It is the whole one step forward, two steps back phenomenon.

So if you have any tips to get stuff done, please share. Otherwise my To-Do list is going to resemble Santa's list.

A Golden Weekend

My three day weekend is rapidly coming to a close. And most of it has been down right wonderful.

The boys and I spent Friday dealing loose ends. We went to the bank and the credit union. We went shoe shopping. We managed to find a pair that sweetP loved and thought "felt good." My days of just bringing home shoes for him are over. I have to make sure he likes how they feel, or I am just throwing money away. Apparently sweetE is in that in between size so they only had one pair, and it was not a pair I would spend money for. We picked up lunch and headed to my work. The plan... Put a movie in for the boys and work like crazy until it was done. And it worked, and then some. The boys watched their movie and then entertained themselves. Three hours of work done with minimal interruptions, all things considered. Back home we all just hung out and played. Yeah!

My first project on Saturday was to get all of the plastics that I have been saving for the past six months to the master recycler event to be recycled. I am feeling pretty Earth friendly. Saturday was soccer central in our house. It was a beautiful fall day and we missed sweetP's practice because we were out working/playing in the yard. I got the roses trimmed and my willow partly trimmed and Ducky got the lawn mowed, the shed cleaned and the patio furniture stored for the winter. Then my friend, one of the original trio, came over with her little girl and we caught up. It is sad that we live so, relatively, close and don't get together that much. But it was fun to catch up and hang out like we used to so long ago before careers and kids intervened.

Today we headed to the pumpkin patch. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, the lines weren't too long. We rode the hay ride, found our pumpkins, took pictures and had fun with each other. We wandered through the corn maze and learned a some election trivia along the way. The boys tried pumpkin bowling.

Back at home, the yard got more attention and we attempted to get caught up on home projects. I scrubbed the shower liner, rather than buy a new one. The boys were being extra helpful trying to earn Mommy money. They earn fake dollars for being kind, helpful and honest. Then they can trade them in for some kind of activity. SweetP earned enough for a family movie night with treats. So I am off to eat dinner so we can watch a movie together tonight.

Best Ideas

I have been informed by sweetE about where the best ideas come from.

The other day he was telling me some story or idea or something. As usual the main theme was toots as we call them in our house. I have reached my limit on the amount of poo, pee and toot stories I can tolerate. No amount of kindly asking him to please not talk about that anymore has slowed the flow of stories.

So when he launched into a new one, I kind of lost it. Using the angry, stern (but not yelling) voice, I told him that I was sick of hearing about toots. And then I watched his face fall, his lip protrude, the tears well up and face start to get blotchy. He turned around and slowly walked away. I heard him go up the stairs.

I called Ducky and told him that I made sweetE sad. But that I was so sick of hearing about the products of his tush. Then I headed upstairs to make it all better. I found him in his bed, covers pulled up to his chin, thumb in mouth, curled up in a little ball. For a boy who enjoys grossing us out, he can be so sensitive.

So we started to chat, and he told me that it was his best idea.

me: What is your best idea?

sweetE: From my tush.

me: What?

sweetE: They come from my tush.

me: You get your best ideas from your tush?

sweetE: yeth.

me: sweetE, you get your best ideas from your brain.

sweetE: No, they come out my tush.

me: sweetE, your brain gives you all kinds of ideas.

sweetE: But they go like this(showing how they travel down the body).... and come out my tush.

And I had to keep from laughing, because this was a serious conversation and he was already sad.

The Upside of Working

There are many reasons why I work. There are some unexpected benefits too.

The best of which is the greeting I get when I get home. The boys (especially sweetE) run up and give me the best hugs. Makes my day. The "my world is now complete now that you are home" kind of hugs. I miss those in the summer when I am home all the time. By working, I give all of us a chance to miss each other.