Learning from sweetP

I need to take a page out of sweetP's book. This has been a grueling week, mentally, physically and emotionally. Some might say that I am overly sensitive (there may be some truth there), there were two migraines this week and I am a basket case about work.

So let's just start at the beginning. As I have mentioned before, there is a human in my life that is making life challenging and stressful. I have not yet figured out how to remove this human from my life and retain the rest of my life in its current form. Nothing criminal, just not part of my world. The usual excitement and anticipation for the start of the school year is missing. That makes me sad. I love the start of the school year.

My teaching partner decided it would be easier to start the school year after all. The plan that if she gets back in the swing of things life will fall back into place. So yeah on that front. But I still spent the entire week worrying about what I was forgetting and thinking of ways to make life easier for her. I was also worrying about our schedule. At the moment, I have to teach writing (ugh) and she has to teach science. We don't want to teach those topics. Part of what makes us a great team is that we each love different subjects. And being passionate about your subjects makes you a better teacher. I want to teach science, damn it! I'm good at it, I love it, I help my students love it. Teaching writing, I wouldn't know where to start. Writing is often a chore and when it isn't I am blogging. I don't think I can teach them all to blog and have it count. We find out on Tuesday what we have to/get to teach. Wish us luck.

So I am worrying and fretting and stewing and dwelling on my work life all week AND about who sweetP's teacher will be and who will be in his class. The waiting was over on Wednesday. Way back in the spring I had asked that he be placed with his best friend. They only have one more year to be at the same school and they are such good friends. It helps that they are not disruptive and it is a really good friendship. I want it as solid as possible before they head to different schools. They plan to be rock stars when they are older.

So I raced to the school to see the list (the server went down from so many people hitting the site at the same time). I looked through the first list and there he was. I looked at the teacher name. Of course it was the teacher that I had reservations about. I have heard stories that you will love this teacher or hate this teacher. All the hates are from people with sensitive children. I have a sensitive child. Nervous dread filled me for the second time this week. I read the list again, no best friend. I look at the other classes. Best friend is in another class. I am so disappointed for my sweetP.

I head off to the soccer field where sweetP will be practicing after piano lessons. And I just sit and dwell about how disappointing it is and get nervous about how his year will go. So my year is shaping up to be a stinker and now maybe his is too. So I dwell, I gripe and then I go look at the lists again. I read through the names twice. He knows two boys in his class. One from soccer (so just a few weeks) and one from kindergarten. He doesn't know either of them well. Not a single one of his buddies is in his class. He has one friend, a girl from kindergarten that lives in the neighborhood, in the whole class. His three best buddies are in another class together. Worry, fret, worry, fret.

The next morning, after a fairly sleepless night (have I mentioned lack of sleep and stress gives me migraines), sweetP gets up early and comes in to bed as Ducky is getting up. He snuggles and wiggles. He completes the wake up process. We talk. It goes something like this.

me: Are you okay that best friend is not in your class?
sweetP: It's okay, I can see him at recess.
me: Want to know who is in your class?
sweetP: Okay.

I run through the list of names. Some questions of who that kid is or a he's funny, and we get to the end of the list.

me: SweetP, I'm sorry you don't have any of your buddies in your class.
sweetP: It's okay mommy, it only takes about two days to make new friends.

So he isn't worried about who is in his class. So I can relax a little, at least for now. That night we meet the teacher. I will get to make my own impression about her beyond the rumors. I vow to go in with an open mind. Not much else I can do at this point.

Fast forward to the end of the day, Meet the Teacher night. We head to school and find the room. SweetP is kind of doing the shy guy routine. We meet the teacher. We form opinions. We finish filling out paperwork and head home. I don't get the warm, fuzzy, happy feeling that I have gotten from his last two teachers (we adored these teachers). Ducky did not get the warm, fuzzy, happy feeling. My MIL did not get the warm, fuzzy, happy feeling.

me: SweetP, do you think you will like your new teacher?
sweetP: Yeah.

Okay. Note to self, learn from sweetP, stop worrying, just believe it is all going to work out okay. So I am hopeful that his year will go okay. If not, I am going to one giant pain in the tush if he starts hating school.

Now if only I could start to feel better about my year. If it continues on the current path, I will either be drinking heavily or headed into therapy by years end. I wish could be as worry free about my year as sweetP is about his. I shudder to think of the shape I would be in if I was a worrier. I am waiting for the twitch above my left eye to return. It was a frequent visitor last spring.

Feel free to vote on the sidebar for how I should cope with my stress from this year.