Today I needed stock in Kleenex. Today, all of my tanks were on E, the warning light was on. Optimism, energy, hope, all empty. No shortage of changes lately. Normally, I cope fairly well.
All week I have been waiting to hear if I got one of the jobs I had applied and interviewed for. That I really wanted. I think I may be psychic because I just knew I wasn't going to get them. Not because I wasn't qualified. Not because I didn't interview well. Not because I couldn't be successful in them and do a good job. But I just knew it wasn't going to work out.
And it didn't. Today budget cuts were announced. Some amazing people lost their jobs. And because of that, plans changed. What they had decided they needed and wanted changed. While I had been a front runner for two jobs, I suddenly lost out. Not once, but twice in one day.
One of them had just felt right. The principal, the staff, the building. All felt right. Like it was meant to be. I was told it was an excruciating decision. The job has two parts. And my skill set, my strengths seem to be in the wrong half.
Today, disappointment was just a little more than I could take.