The Worst/Funniest Gift Ever

One Christmas many years ago, when Ducky and I were still in the early years of our marriage, we went home for the holidays. We would spend Christmas eve with his family and Christmas day with mine. It just worked out that our families traditions were on separate days. We had spent a pleasant evening the night before with all of his family. Dinner, gifts, mass, laughing, merriment. The usual Christmas stuff.

Christmas morning we headed over to my parents house. They were waiting and then it was gift time again. My family is much more stoic, so there was significantly less merriment, but it was pleasant enough. We always open gifts one at a time and watch the recipient and drag the whole thing out. I personally like it that way. So it was Ducky's turn to open a gift and he carefully removed the paper (a requirement so my mom can reuse it). It was an illustrated dog book that we always looked at when visiting. We didn't live where we could have a dog yet, so we were planning what kind to get eventually. Great, we could research more often! Ducky graciously thanked her and the gifting moved on to the next person.

Ducky happened to look over at the bookshelf and there on the shelf was the exact same book, brand new, in the wrapper. She had given him the old one and bought herself a new one. But wait, there is more.


When Ducky's turn came around again, he opened the next gift. Ducky is really good at guessing gifts by shaking them. So we often disguise them so he can't figure them out. It was a Rice Krispies box. An opened Rice Krispies box. Therefore, it must be a disguised gift. He started digging around in the half empty box of cereal. At this point my mom pipes up that she hopes he likes Rice Krispies, because they couldn't eat them. The half eaten box of cereal was the gift. My mother wrapped up and gave a half eaten box of cereal as a real gift. Not a gag gift, or even a white elephant gift. A real, serious gift. Wrapped in paper with a bow and everything.

Now, it is not that my parents couldn't afford to buy gifts. They were doing quite well.

Years later, this gift finally paid off. A discussion of bad gifts came up at Ducky's work. Everyone sharing what their worst gift ever was. Ducky of course, shared his half eaten cereal gift and the continuing list of strange gifts he has received from my mother. He won, hands down. Then every year after that, to this day, there are people that ask what he got. The gifts he has received from my mother have become legendary.

What To Tell?

I have been pondering this post for a while. When I started this blog I opted to be anonymous. Partly because I don't know who is reading it and partly because I work in education. In theory, nothing can come back to haunt me. The neurotic/protective parent part of me is afraid someone will see how cute my kids are and want to come and take them. So I don't post pictures of them. Not even old ones. Which can be frustrating because some of the pictures are just plain funny and would go really well with the stories I am sharing. I also don't use their names. Plus names and pictures make it easier to connect with who you really are and there goes the whole anonymous concept.

Working in education, you have to be very careful what you say about your customer (aka students). People are really protective of their kids. And they should be. And because there are only a certain number of students that any story could be about, if someone did figure it out. Yikes! So don't really write about my students. Ducky reminds me periodically that HR can figure out who I am if they wanted to.

So, there is always the question of what to tell and how much to tell. Sometimes I feel like I am being paranoid, but other times I know it is the right choice.

The Way Kids Talk

I love the way that little kids say words. I was thinking about this as I was stuck in traffic due to our lovely weather. Grey skies, wind, rain, puddles. Lovely weather.

My boys each have a different way to say computer. SweetE refers to it as the pooter and sweetP has always called it the peer-dough. I am trying to spell them so you can get the gist of their pronunciations. They also give great names to things. SweetE is battling a tummy bug at the moment and he is never far from the "bla bucket." When sweetP was little he called throwing up going bla. That name has stuck and vomit is referred to as bla.

The boys are currently entertaining themselves by playing Star Wars Lego game. Or Star Weres, if you use the sweetE pronunciation.

I am going to be a little sad when they start sounding more adult.

100th Post, Postponed Due to ...

Headache and computer banishment.

I managed to get a humdinger of a headache and then slogged through the rest of the week. Last night, I was all ready to post and then I was banished from the computer by Ducky. He was uploading video for the annual family DVD and didn't want anything to thwart the progress.

So here it is. The 100th post. Wahoo! I never used to write. I hated writing assignments in class. I am a concise writer and had a horrible time expanding to the length desired by the teacher. Reflection papers were pure torture, I could tell you what I thought in two to three sentences. I did not need an entire page. I preferred and still prefer to get to the point. So starting this blog was an attempt to document my life and get in the habit of writing. And remove the torture part.

Reaching this post means I have accomplished my goal. It has also reminded me of the importance of taking time. The topic was inspired by someone I saw yesterday. I was driving home from doing a couple of errands with the boys. I looked in the rearview mirror, to see an enormous, black SUV trying to kiss my little bumper. The driver of the SUV started lifting his hands in exasperation. We were not going fast enough. And we were not tailgating the car in front of us. How dare we!

His annoyance grew. We weren't out on the open road. We were in town, with stoplights and other cars. He ended up zooming around me and then cutting in a few cars ahead. I was half expecting him to be in a accident down the road. He wasn't.

I wanted to ask him, what was so important that he was willing to put others at risk. And I realized then, that no matter what you do, take the time. Enjoy the moment. Don't rush through things. My blog is me taking the time to think about my day and connect with friends near and far. What is worth posting? What cute moments did I see or hear today? They don't have to be big.

My Little Fish

We went to swim lessons last night. Like we do every Monday night. Right before class, sweetP's teacher tells Ducky that he has made unexpected strides and she thinks he is ready for the next level. Yahoo, sweetP! He did this last time too. On recommendation day, his teacher felts he should stay in the class he is in, but then something clicks and they change their mind. Except there are no openings in the next level for the next session. Dang. So he is on wait lists and we have to wait and see.

I don't like to wait and see. I had them taking lessons at the same time. I had it all planned. Ducky and I could go together, divide and conquer. Talk to each other without interruption. Now if sweetP doesn't get in I have to tell him that he will be taking that session off. And then he will be sad. And I will have to worry that he will forget all the stuff they have been teaching him. He is such an enthusiastic little guy. I really hope I don't have to burst his bubble. It is hard to believe that just back in June he didn't like to get his face wet and now he jumps right in. They work miracles at this place.

SweetE is a much more reluctant fish. Exceedingly cute, but not confident yet. I love to watch him. He has his little goggles on and he looks over at us with this big grin and gives us the thumbs up. And you can tell that he can't relax, but that he trusts his teacher. And he wants to do what they ask, he just doesn't trust that it will be okay yet. We can tell how happy he is about class by the number of thumbs ups that we get. Most of the time we get a lot. Last night, he gave his teacher the lip. The one that tells us that he is upset and about to cry. I don't know what upset him, but his teacher got him over it and by the end of class he was laughing and kicking during the train ride around the pool. (A giant train shaped kick board, all the kids lay on it and get pulled around the pool for about two minutes. They love it.)

You know both boys love their classes when they re-enact them in the bath tub. I'm glad they like the water. And I hope sweetE doesn't take after me. I took beginning swim lessons nine times before I passed. It was six times before I put my face in the water. So he is doing better than I did.

A New Record!

Wow, the first time my comment count has reached 2 digits. I should have joined Fun Monday sooner. The part of me that craves validation is in heaven.

I have a milestone coming up. My 100th post will happen in a few days. How should I commemorate the occasion?

Please recall that before I started this blog, I never managed to keep a journal longer than three weeks. 100 posts is a minor miracle. And cause for celebration.

Fun Monday

I am officially joining the Fun Monday ranks. What can I say, I like knowing I am not the only one in over my head on a regular basis.

Here is the assignment from Blue Momma.
I want you to show me your......projects. More to the point, I want to see your unfinished projects. I have so many that I really need some reassurance that I'm not the only one. Home improvement projects are what I have in mind, but it you don't have any of those show me any kind of project - needlework, cooking, scrapbooking, etc. You can even show me your spouse if they qualify as a work in process.

And please, I WANT PICTURES!!!! You can talk if you want, but you don't have to. I know since you are all bloggers talk is bound to happen, but I most definitely want to see photos of those unfinished projects.


Let me start with the pit of despair, also known as Mommy's work room. I painted it back in February. And I have been planning get it organized every day since. I am really looking forward to having a work space to sew, read, relax, create, etc. But right now it just depresses me. I did manage to get two baby blankets sewn in there today, but still got depressed by the mess. Note to Ducky, you are not allowed to comment on my mess!


The laundry closet. We remodeled that back in January. We put in new floors, new cabinets and painted. Then we had the electrician come in to put in new can lights and move the light switch. Good thing we did, there was a fire hazard in there. But now the paint needs to be touched up and we still haven't gotten the pivot doors. The closet is on a hallway and every time I do laundry I end up banging into those doors because they close up half the hall. Arghhh.


The blessed stairs. We started this project in July and getting the stairs done is taking forever. SweetE likes the construction look, he is allowed to pound on them with his hammer as much as he wants. We are tired of the construction look. We love the remodel, we are glad we turned the stairs, but we are so ready to be done!


Here are the treads to go on the blessed stairs. I have made progress this weekend. I have four coats of finish on them. They still need a light sanding with an extra fine grit paper and then one last coat of finish. Then they can be installed. But when? By Christmas, please before Christmas. This is the third set of treads for the blessed stairs. Do not operate power tools while distracted. I cut every tread too short. That was the first set. Then we hired an incompetent contractor. He cut them all crooked. That was the second set. This is the third set. We are back to the original contractor. The one that turned the stairs, but who knows when he will get to it. Please before Christmas!


This is the new patio door. That leaks. As you can see we haven't finished the drywall and trim around it. The door people have supposedly ordered a new insert, but it should have been here a week ago. In the meantime, it has ruined my grass rug in front of the door. And I need to sand, mud, sand, texture, prime, paint and put up the molding. Dang, I'm tired.


The fireplace. I do not like this brick fireplace. I loathe this brick fireplace. But I vowed I would not start a new project until all projects in progress are completed and I have more money. So I have to look at it. The hearth is two different heights. The mantle is weird. I admit it could be a lot worse. But I still want to get rid of it.


As we were getting ready to head to the beach a few weeks ago, the deadbolt on the front door broke. It was stuck in the locked position. So right when we got back, I had to take it apart and put in a new one. At least I had the new one in my possession. When we replaced the patio door, I bought a new front door handle at the same time. I had planned to put it on the new front door when we got it. But instead I got to put it on the old front door. But only the deadbolt part. The handle has an extra fastener that would require a hole to be drilled in the door. I really don't want to drill and get it in the wrong place and then have to buy the new door now. There is that whole money thing and I have expensive taste. So we have a new deadbolt, an old handle and it now requires two keys to get in the front door.

I did not photograph my bedroom, but it still has white walls and I have the paint in the garage. I just don't have the time and that would technically be starting a new project.

The list continues, but I still have to plan my lessons for tomorrow. Another day, I can share all the non home improvement projects that need finishing.